Alone Doesn't Mean Lonely

I can remember how when I was younger, in high school, that sitting alone at home meant you weren't invited.  If I sat home all weekend and no one called to make plans, I thought for sure that plans were happening without me and my friends were probably getting together and talking about me.  Somehow it felt that everyone was busy doing interesting things and I was the only one sitting at home by myself.  Alone.  Lonely.

As a college student I remember being uncomfortable eating alone even going to the trouble to bring notes or a book with me so I could "study" while I had lunch.  I bet I never read two words of anything while I was eating, it just wasn't convenient to eat AND read/write or do anything else really.  I always wanted to take a friend or roommate with me when I had to go to the mall or go grocery shopping.  Even heading to the library to study was more fun if I could meet someone there or drag someone with me.  Being alone was not "cool."

Fast forward to adulthood and I can't remember the last time I went to the bathroom ALONE. I love the quiet of my own solitude.  Having the house to myself to just be, is an important event.  I don't want to hear or be a part of drama and I don't invite it into my home or my life even.  I have distanced myself from certain friends because of the drama and negativity they bring along with them everywhere they go.  I love how quiet the house can be.  I love the silence of these walls and of my brain when I am given the chance to just be lone and just...BE.  If I do the math I would say that I have spent most of my life trying to avoid being alone, yet now it is something I strive to have.  I am still social and love a visit.  I like to talk and hang out and catch up with my friends, but there is something pretty great about a silent and "lonely" house.

I hope all of you get some much needed alone time on a regular basis.  I know my alone time is a key to stabilizing my mental health.