Be Intentional

    "Be Intentional" was actually my 2018 New Year's Resolution and while I had great intentions when I envisioned it and wrote it down, I really failed at exploring it to it's fullest during the past year.  In fact, I was the opposite of "Intentional" and let it go by the way side in most ways.
     It got me thinking though and planning and it also got me ready for my 2019 resolution which is:

Together these two phrases will shape my decisions in the coming year.  Not only decisions for myself and my personal well being but decisions for my family and our life together. 

     2018 had many intentional decisions including my going back to school to finish my Bachelor's Degree.  As a full time Reading Interventionist, a Mom and a Wife, not to mention my other roles with family and friends and a non-profit that has been around for 3 years now, the choice to go back to college was very intentional.  The choice to cash flow college tuition was intentional for all of us.  The jobs my husband had to begin doing around the house and the jobs our children had to learn to do for themselves were intentional as well.  Making sure the proper amount of homework time, reading time, writing time and library time were available wouldn't have happened had there not been a bunch of intention going into that plan.

     Another very intentional decision, which was more led by my husband than myself, was the planning of our summer travels that allowed us to visit 10 states over our 10 or so week break from school.  We camped, saw monuments, visited ancient earthworks, dipped our toes into two Great Lakes, spent time with family and friends, took the dog adventuring, broke in a new camper AND managed to cross some things off of our bucket lists.  Again, all because of the intentional choices and plans that were made with our belief of life experience being the truest education of all.

     Now it is 2019 and I have a goal to SIMPLIFY.  This can be taken many ways of course, but for me it is mostly about getting rid of the garbage and focusing on the important things.  I have begun decluttering the house to extremes and look forward to continuing that process.  Simplify the stuff.  I have begun to take a very introspective journey within myself to make sure I am doing things to "Show Up" for me.  I am focusing on the most important moments and relationships and remembering to do the things that help make ME stronger.  

     Part of this journey is documentation, in writing.  I am journaling.  I am reading.  I am working on me and I am putting me first.  I am sharing this with my tribe near and far reaching and I am setting goals.  This year is going to be incredible for many reasons and one of them is getting back to the basics.  Simplify 2019 is a major project and a major goal for me.  I am keeping track and keeping up with friends and family who are interested in taking on a journey like this for themselves and I am being candid with my own in the hopes that it gives strength to all of you as well. 

     I am not ashamed of who I am or my choices.  I live with no regret of things I have done, just regrets of things I have not done or not tried due to fear or insecurity.  I am a worry wart.  I say yes regardless of if I have enough time to say yes.  I work hard for others, not always for myself.  I am optimistic and I care to a fault.  I can be a door mat.  I have anxiety and I am medicated for it, and have been for years.  I hate sleepovers at my house because of the feeling of a lack of control (also I can't stay up past 9pm).  I love to vacuum the carpet and sweep the floors.  I hate my dishwasher because of the foods it always seems to miss.  I like white walls so I can over decorate with all kinds of color.  I love to refurbish furniture and I like to read fiction novels.  I love furry animals but I freaking hate disgusting birds and avoid the aviary at every single zoo we visit.  I love  road trip, but I sleep like crap at every destination we visit.  I love the ocean and the beach and the treasures you can find if you are the first one up in the morning, with your cup of coffee in tote of course.  I love taking pictures, but I suck at sharing them.  I like to buy old things and refresh them and I SHOULD document the process, but I don't.  I loves used books stores and I can't get enough books, even if I can't get to reading them all.  I put on a happy face every day for all of my school kids even when I am feeling terrible inside.  I pretend to be joyful and happy even when I am sad.  I hide behind my sense of humor when I don't feel like answering to myself.  I cry at the drop of a hat at times.  Having my period in my 30's has been the most horrible "time of the month" since I turned 35 and these things morphed into something I could never have imagined.  I hate how different things are now vs when I was a kid.  I hate seeing my parents age and saying goodbye to family and friends more frequently.  I have no shame in being an open book, sometimes sharing too much, and being loud and deemed "too talkative in class" since the age of 5.  Yup EVERY SINGLE REPORT CARD.  I am proud of my sense of humor.  I am proud of all of the things I have read and learned and I LOVE learning and seeing new things.  I love God.  I am dedicated to my marriage FIRST and family second because without this strong marriage, the family falls apart.  I am proud of a 12 year marriage and plan on many many more...like forever.  I miss my brother, who I don't see enough.  I could go on forever, but I won't.  

     Please join me on the journey of a lifetime that for me has begun with 2019.

XOXO,

Amy