The Thing They Didn't Tell Me About...Approaching 40
It's been an interesting week in our home. Nothing exciting really, just many different things that have made me think deeply about my footprint in this world. Interactions with my kids, happenings with my own body and then I heard this afternoon that Kobe Bryant was killed in an unexpected helicopter crash near his home. He has a wife and four young daughters and has been a basketball legend for a large part of my life.
This unfortunate and untimely death got me really thinking about,
The Thing They Didn't Tell Me About Approaching 40 is...
Lots of things, but one of them is the fact that you start to know who all of the famous folks that are passing away, actually are. I remember as a kid when the news would break in to tell you that someone had died, I would always look to my Dad and ask him who that person was. I wasn't able to make associations and figure out why this person was important enough to break into programming for the announcement. I just didn't live enough life yet to be able to know who the people were. Now though, my kids are looking to me to answer that question and 99% of the time, I know who they are.
Another thing no one told me was that the songs I listened to in high school and the concerts I went to, will slowly start to be played on the "classic" station. It never ceases to amaze me that "all of a sudden" one of my favorite jams is on the classic rock channel and my reaction is always they same,
"What??!! This isn't classic rock!!"
Then I do the math. Then I hear the same song on the supermarket radio. Geez.
There is a list of things that continue to happen as I approach 40 and there really isn't any other explanation than I am getting old. For instance, no one tells you that your knees will creak on ALL the steps, not just every once in awhile, but every single step up and down.
The shape of your body is different too. It happens so gradually. I can't even explain exactly what is different about it, it is just different. Your weight may not have changed, your clothes size is the same, but you look at yourself one day and wonder who's body this is, because it sure as heck doesn't look like the one I remember!
Your hair color is...well drab. As I get grays all over, a process that started slow but seems quicker and quicker I can't even determine what this color is exactly. A natural blonde that has darkened with age to a dirty blonde, but now with the lack of color spreading throughout, it is just blah. It's like it has less and less color at all and I don't even know what color this hair is. I wish I would just wake up one day and it would all be that beautiful silver, but that is too much to ask. Right now I'll just call it "cloudy."
Your period is worse than your teen years. You are discovering why in the world they make super plus tampons and you are going through them at an ever quickening rate. Always wondered who could possibly need those things? Cramps. Oh cramps, it's like Midol was made for women pushing 40. If only you could call in for cramps without feeling like a little girl just hitting puberty. All symptoms of this time of the month are worse and getting worse with each passing period. It's not fair and makes no sense. I mean haven't I paid my dues???
You will get back aches just from not getting enough sleep and having to be awake too long. You will also get back aches from being in bed too long! Your back will hurt from seemingly regular daily activities like standing and walking around. Your back will ache because of the weather. You will finally understand what your parents meant when they said,
"It is so cold outside that my bones hurt."
Remember when you thought they were weirdos and wondered how it was possible for one's bones to hurt? Well, you are pushing 40, or you are 40, and now you know. It's so not funny.
You will get a hangover from going to bed late. No alcohol necessary. You decide to push it and stay up to finish a movie, it's not like you have to get up early for work tomorrow. Thank goodness because going to bed an hour later tricks your body into thinking you must have been closing down the bar and you wake up with a headache and cotton mouth. You feel like you were hit by a truck and all you did was have a glass of water and an extra snack...past your bedtime. It's wack.
Not all things about approaching 40 are bad though. I know I have made it sound as though it's a complete racket, but it's not. As I approach 40 I appreciate my parents for the human beings they are. Fortunately, this begins much sooner than at the age of 40 for many of us. I am understanding them and their decisions for me when I was a kid growing up more and more with each passing day. I am actually friends with them in a way I couldn't have been before I was an actual adult.
Another thing that is wonderful is that I have so much life experience, good and bad. I am able to talk to my children about their troubles and know that I too have been through this and I made it out alive. That part is increasingly important for them to see because their troubles seem so large and so consuming and whether they think I understand or not, they can see that I survived and they will too.
I am knowledgeable about people and all kinds of situations and when I am not, I am self aware enough to seek out the information so I can learn. I wouldn't say this was as easy in my younger years and for that I am grateful.
Quite possibly one of the best things that comes with life experience is the fact that I do not care about the little crap the way I used to. I know what is important and I value it. I know what is petty and a waste of my time and I am able to let those things go. I know that the size of my house isn't the important detail that tells anyone about who I am. The home I have created is what lets you know the kind of person I am. I know that not everyone is "looking at me" or even cares about what embarrassing situation has happened to me, in fact embarrassment is a thing of the past. I am comfortable with who I am and it is fine that everyone doesn't like me. All of these are lessons that are difficult to attain until you have lived enough life to understand. I only hope I can continue to live and learn for many more years to come.
This unfortunate and untimely death got me really thinking about,
The Thing They Didn't Tell Me About Approaching 40 is...
Lots of things, but one of them is the fact that you start to know who all of the famous folks that are passing away, actually are. I remember as a kid when the news would break in to tell you that someone had died, I would always look to my Dad and ask him who that person was. I wasn't able to make associations and figure out why this person was important enough to break into programming for the announcement. I just didn't live enough life yet to be able to know who the people were. Now though, my kids are looking to me to answer that question and 99% of the time, I know who they are.
Another thing no one told me was that the songs I listened to in high school and the concerts I went to, will slowly start to be played on the "classic" station. It never ceases to amaze me that "all of a sudden" one of my favorite jams is on the classic rock channel and my reaction is always they same,
"What??!! This isn't classic rock!!"
Then I do the math. Then I hear the same song on the supermarket radio. Geez.
There is a list of things that continue to happen as I approach 40 and there really isn't any other explanation than I am getting old. For instance, no one tells you that your knees will creak on ALL the steps, not just every once in awhile, but every single step up and down.
The shape of your body is different too. It happens so gradually. I can't even explain exactly what is different about it, it is just different. Your weight may not have changed, your clothes size is the same, but you look at yourself one day and wonder who's body this is, because it sure as heck doesn't look like the one I remember!
Your hair color is...well drab. As I get grays all over, a process that started slow but seems quicker and quicker I can't even determine what this color is exactly. A natural blonde that has darkened with age to a dirty blonde, but now with the lack of color spreading throughout, it is just blah. It's like it has less and less color at all and I don't even know what color this hair is. I wish I would just wake up one day and it would all be that beautiful silver, but that is too much to ask. Right now I'll just call it "cloudy."
Your period is worse than your teen years. You are discovering why in the world they make super plus tampons and you are going through them at an ever quickening rate. Always wondered who could possibly need those things? Cramps. Oh cramps, it's like Midol was made for women pushing 40. If only you could call in for cramps without feeling like a little girl just hitting puberty. All symptoms of this time of the month are worse and getting worse with each passing period. It's not fair and makes no sense. I mean haven't I paid my dues???
You will get back aches just from not getting enough sleep and having to be awake too long. You will also get back aches from being in bed too long! Your back will hurt from seemingly regular daily activities like standing and walking around. Your back will ache because of the weather. You will finally understand what your parents meant when they said,
"It is so cold outside that my bones hurt."
Remember when you thought they were weirdos and wondered how it was possible for one's bones to hurt? Well, you are pushing 40, or you are 40, and now you know. It's so not funny.
You will get a hangover from going to bed late. No alcohol necessary. You decide to push it and stay up to finish a movie, it's not like you have to get up early for work tomorrow. Thank goodness because going to bed an hour later tricks your body into thinking you must have been closing down the bar and you wake up with a headache and cotton mouth. You feel like you were hit by a truck and all you did was have a glass of water and an extra snack...past your bedtime. It's wack.
Not all things about approaching 40 are bad though. I know I have made it sound as though it's a complete racket, but it's not. As I approach 40 I appreciate my parents for the human beings they are. Fortunately, this begins much sooner than at the age of 40 for many of us. I am understanding them and their decisions for me when I was a kid growing up more and more with each passing day. I am actually friends with them in a way I couldn't have been before I was an actual adult.
Another thing that is wonderful is that I have so much life experience, good and bad. I am able to talk to my children about their troubles and know that I too have been through this and I made it out alive. That part is increasingly important for them to see because their troubles seem so large and so consuming and whether they think I understand or not, they can see that I survived and they will too.
I am knowledgeable about people and all kinds of situations and when I am not, I am self aware enough to seek out the information so I can learn. I wouldn't say this was as easy in my younger years and for that I am grateful.
Quite possibly one of the best things that comes with life experience is the fact that I do not care about the little crap the way I used to. I know what is important and I value it. I know what is petty and a waste of my time and I am able to let those things go. I know that the size of my house isn't the important detail that tells anyone about who I am. The home I have created is what lets you know the kind of person I am. I know that not everyone is "looking at me" or even cares about what embarrassing situation has happened to me, in fact embarrassment is a thing of the past. I am comfortable with who I am and it is fine that everyone doesn't like me. All of these are lessons that are difficult to attain until you have lived enough life to understand. I only hope I can continue to live and learn for many more years to come.
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